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First World Problems

I randomly get weirded out by the small first world problems I realize I’m having.  Most often, it happens while shopping for a card.  I start thinking of this standing in the card aisle and my mind just travels further and further down the rabbit hole.  #firstworldproblems

I am spending between $3-$5 usually.  Did you hear that?!  I am spending on average $4 for pre-printed paper with a pre-printed message that people are going to throw away.  Why?!  Why I am I doing this?! Four dollars adds up!  I’ve got some numbers for you.  Yes, I did go through an entire calendar year and figure out about how many cards I send out.  This includes my family members’ birthdays, Christmas Cards, Mother’s and Father’s Day, and the one wedding I’m usually invited to yearly. It also includes of the end year thank you cards for teachers and two random events because I’m always invited to something I’m not expecting that requires a card.  This is not including the pack of Christmas cards I normally get for work, my son’s pack of Valentines day cards, or the cards for my son’s pen pal.  I got about 27 cards per year but I promise you that it is way higher than that.  This is just the bare minimum.  I know that there are 99 cent cards, but I normally take a lot of time picking out the perfect card for that person, and they are usually $3-$5 for me.  So I spend about $108 bare minimum on cards a year.  I spend money on cards, majority of those people are going to toss right after I leave.

Because this hit me one day standing in Target, I started making a hand written cards made out of wrapping paper on the things that I could.  Then I was like…I spend a bunch on wrapping paper! And bows! And tape.  Don’t get me wrong I love the surprise element of gifts, but as I said, rabbit hole.  I’m totally that person that has a board on Pinterest for “gift wrapping ideas.”  But then I started thinking, hmmm, maybe I could wrap them in newspaper, except I rarely buy newspapers, so I would have to go out and get one and that defeats the purpose.  Then I thought, I could wrap it in a shirt or something they are also getting and use the crafting ribbon we already have to make it pretty.  But I’ve noticed that many times I don’t even have something else to wrap it in.  And then I’m like, why am I giving them this plastic cartoon animal that is cheaply made and costs me $20 for something that should be $10 max anyway?  And why do we even need packaging? Because it gets scratched up? Oh boo hoo.  Just put it in bins like an outdoor food market.

And I have determined that being first world has made us greedy.  These things we don’t even think about that would be outlandish in second or third world countries.  Sure we have to get up and go to work.  And I get that you have a hard time getting up, but a clock on wheels that makes you chase it?  Really?  Okay, that one is pretty cool lol.  But it’s the concept of it all, I think you get my drift.  Why do we buy four chairs at our dining room tables when we only have two people in the house?  You have to buy the chairs separately.  For company.  Everything is for company.  Company we never have anymore except a couple times a year because we are too busy being segregated in our homes binging on Netflix.  We keep extra furniture “in case company comes over.”  Why do we have 1,000 dishes, silverware, and Tupperware bowls?  “In case I can’t wash it before we need it.” …Wouldn’t you then wash it, when you need it?

Why are we buying bumper pads and putting them in our child’s crib?  Sure they match, sure they are pretty.  But it’s even been said that bumper pads can be the cause of SIDS sometimes.  Yet there they are in the crib, with the baby.  Why are we buying baby monitors?  People lived without them for a long time.  I hear the “well when I’m elsewhere” reasoning.  Sure, but I’m positive that if your child is awake, they can lay there for a bit.  Unless they are at the climbing out of their crib age.  I can understand that.  And for God’s sake why are they video monitored too?  Walk in there and peak in on them.  Wipe warmers? Warm them up with your hands.  You really don’t need much anything you have for your baby besides bottles (questionable because of breastfeeding), some clothes, a car seat.  They are even sending home boxes for kids to sleep in at the hospital now.  Everything other than that is just to look pretty or for convenience.  It’s weird.

And stores like Bed, Bath, and Beyond is a haven for first world problems.  Would you like a stainless steel cake cutter?  No prob, we have you covered.  A personal holder for your avocado? We’ve got you!  Mirrors that make pores look like craters and your skin look like you need Botox?  Matching toothbrush and soap containers? Doormats? Decorative pillows?  Lounge chairs for you to sit next to your pool that are different than the lawn chairs on your patio?  Perfect we have everything you need.  Guess what? We can personalize it.

I could go on all day.  But I won’t, I think you get the point.  I absolutely have and do all of these things.  Except the bumper pads, for real, cut that out.  I just get kind of randomly freaked out about first world problems.  And cards.  If you get a card from me, know I truly care about you.  Also know that I questioned giving you anything at all and almost bought you food.  I guess that’s just the lavish life we live (hair flip).  It’s just the norm for us.  What’s the biggest “first world problem” you have?

Now excuse me, I have to go pick out my outfit for tomorrow and tweeze my eyebrows.

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