Why Dating is Awesome

  

Dating is amazing. Yes, it can be completely terrifying and make you question yourself, but there are great parts too.

Let me start by saying that yes, I totally freak out and question everything like I talked about in Why Dating Sucks. But if you aren’t questioning yourself and you aren’t at least a little nervous, you probably aren’t excited. And if you aren’t excited…why are you going?

Dating is cool because you try new things. Now, this only pertains if you are going on actual dates and not just “hanging out” and you don’t go to a bar for every date. Not that going to a bar is bad by any means, but if you are going every time not much thought is going into it. Which may or may not be your thing. But personally, I wouldn’t always want to go to a bar.

So as I was saying, you try new things. A new restaurant, a city you haven’t been to. I don’t drink much at all so going to a bar was something new. When I order drinks, because I have no idea what I’m doing I just tell the bartender to make me something fruity and light. Lol. And I think beer is gross, but I tried something he ordered and it wasn’t bad! I tried sushi with actual fish in it for the first time. I couldn’t even taste the fish and it was good! New drinks, new foods, new places. 

Even if he doesn’t take you anywhere new, which my date did, you take the lead. I decided to do this and said I would plan some dates, which I realized is new to me. And a lot of pressure. I feel bad for guys! 

If you plan a few dates you can do things that you haven’t done before but sound fun. I suggest checking out Groupon.com and livingsocial.com for ideas. I have always wanted to do a Murder Mystery Dinner. I may decide to do that! And I have never been to a comedy show other than Kevin Hart at a stadium. But I have always wanted to go to an actual comedy house. Maybe try Painting With A Twist? There’s so many ideas you can try, maybe use this time to try things you have always wanted to do that you think he will like too. 

Especially if you are a parent, just getting out of the house and focusing on YOURSELF and having a good time is great reason dating is awesome.  So much time spent is worried about everything going on with your kids that you forget about having fun yourself. 

Another reason that dating is awesome is because you start putting more effort into your appearance. This may not be the case for you but it definitely is for me. Going through daily routines of work, spending time with my son, and mainly being a homebody…I don’t dress up or spend much time on my appearance. I forgot what it feels like to spend hours getting ready. And honestly, I missed it. I missed feeling really pretty. Taking time to pick out a perfect outfit. He might not notice much or even care but it gives me a little extra confidence. And after feeling like “mom on the run” all the time it’s nice to just feel really feminine and pretty. 

Though this next topic doesn’t pertain to me, it’s something I’m sure others think about. One of my best friends said dating multiple people is the best. I personally have a tough time with this. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me but I have never been able to date more than one person without completely panicking and feeling anxious. But she’s says it’s great, that “it’s like Elimidate. Remember that show?” That you have some options and you take the time to figure out which one is right for you. If I did this, I probably wouldn’t spend so much time on the wrong people, but it’s just something I can’t do. But if you can, more power to you! 

What I have realized I really like about dating is really getting to know someone. I like learning about people anyway but it’s a little different on a more intimate level. Figuring out their likes and dislikes. What things do you have in common. What things you are on totally different pages about. Learning about their childhood, their past, their family. Their sense of humor. And telling them about you. I’m not sure why I like this so much but I really do.

The best thing about dating are the things that make your heart pound. The romance. Trying to figuring out your feelings for the other person. The butterflies. The nervousness. Wanting to text all the time. Feeling like you are a teen in high school again. That, in my opinion, is the best part about dating. And it all constitutes why dating is awesome. 

Image provided by stock images on freedigitalphotos.net

Why Dating Sucks

  

I get to a point where I’m like “you know what? I hate this.” For the most part dating is great like I talked about in Why Dating is Awesome. But it also makes you question LITERALLY EVERYTHING.  Which is why dating sucks. 

It’s 100% possible I overthink things and that’s why I tend to freak out. I’m going to tell you some of the things that go through my mind and you can tell me if you relate.  

At first everything is smooth sailing. And then BAM! Hits you like a ton of bricks. The questioning. The wondering. Every forehead smacking moment that was seeping in the back of your brain is brought to the forefront. And that’s how it starts.

When he brought up Dia De Los Muertos and you had a complete brain fart even though you 100% know what it is, you sounded like an idiot. And why the hell did you decide to wear that?  Are you sure you looked good? Because when you think back on it, it sounds like a HORRIBLE idea. And all the silences– were they too long or too awkward? You just remembered you totally didn’t tip the bartenders when you offered pay for drinks. He probably thinks you are a cheap ass. Or that you are undignified. Did you laugh too loud? Eat too loud? And you didn’t finish the meal he paid for! Ugh! And even worse you didn’t get a box. You should have gotten a box! What is wrong with you woman?! And at the end of the night you totally freaked out getting in your head about a goodnight kiss. Does he want one? Are you comfortable with that? How do you do this? How do the two of you part? What if he goes in for one and you are sure you are totally going to screw it up? Get out of your head! Be in the moment! Stop fidgeting with your necklace! 

It doesn’t matter that you have been talking everyday since, have a second date set up, or that he kissed you on the cheek like a gentleman. 

Now there’s new questions. Because now you think this is what you want. You like this guy. A lot. But what if he doesn’t like you quite the same? What if he is just looking for casual dating to keep him occupied but wants nothing more out of it? What if he doesn’t often think about you, but you have been thinking about him all the time. How bad would it suck if he decided he didn’t want this to go any further? Is this age thing going to be an issue? How will you know? Is it too soon to just ask him up front? “Hey man what do you want out of this?” Is that coming on too strong? Will that be the thing that makes him want to drop you? Will it be too hard to just be patient and wait it out until he tells you? Is he waiting for you to ask? Surely it’s too damn early for all of this. He probably doesn’t even think about you until a text comes through. Right? Should I continue talking to other guys? Even if I’m pretty sure that I want to focus on him? Is that crazy? To feel that way? I’m pretty sure I should be institutionalized. 

When you are texting…you are excited and want to text right back…but should you? Does that seem desperate? He doesn’t text right back. But I just get so damn excited like 15 year old and want to respond immediately.  But I hold off most of the time. It’s irritating, like I’m playing games instead of just being myself. And as I say “if she’s playing games she’s too young for you bro.” I am overthinking this? Or maybe I’m not. I’m not sure. Am I, in fact, too young for him bro? Maybe he’s got a life and that’s why he doesn’t respond right away you dipwad. Stop overthinking this! Why do you send such long texts? Is that ok? Or is he annoyed by it?

I know that we have a second date scheduled and a third planned, as well as other plans, but was he joking about the other plans? For the movie marathon? Was he just saying that? I’m cleaning my place from top to bottom…just in case. When are we going to add each other on Facebook? Is it weird to wonder that?  Because I feel like I need to go through and delete stuff I have posted. I should watch what I say on there. But then I’m not being myself. But people are judgmental at first. Why am I worried about that right now? I just want to know what you want out of this an then I can relax! Tell me! TELL ME NOW!

This may not be even close to how you think. And I just realized that as a 24 year old woman, this is the first time I have gone on a date thinking ahead of time that this is a date, and we are not in a relationship. So I may be completely freaking out for no reason.  I hate the unknown. I just want to know where I stand. At all times. And when I don’t, I question my, well, everything. Decisions, actions, feelings. It makes me anxious. And that my friends, is why dating sucks. 

Image provided by Master Isolated Images on Feedigitalimages.net