Late Night Rantings From A (Sort of) Insomniac

Late Night Rant- Be Happy For Others


 I wake up normally about four times a night. Usually, it takes me around 30 minutes to get back to sleep. Sometimes it’s freaking hours. Like now for example. I woke up, and feel like I slept 8 hours. At least my mind thinks so. My body…not so much. 

I’m a light sleeper so the first thing that normally pops in my head as I wake up is “If those cats don’t stop chasing each other around the house I am throwing them outside.” It happens every night. I never do it. I should, I would probably get more sleep.

After going through the usual routine of getting back to sleep ideas including watching Netflix, reading, using the bathroom and getting something to eat, a ton of things run through my head. 

First it’s trival stuff. Would I wake up anyone if I did some dishes? Cleaned the bathroom? Probably. I need to get a hair cut. You my friend, look a hot mess. I need to upload those pictures of the kiddo’s clothes to my Facebook selling group. They probably won’t sell. They never do. Stupid group. Why am I in it? I should delete it. That will show ’em.  Does counting sheep really work? One sheep, two sheep…wool is cool.  And warm. I should cover Keegan back up. Speaking of warm the weather is nice. It’s short season! Except not for me, nope no shorts for you my dear. I should work out. That sounds like a lot of work. I mean…the word “work” is in the phrase. Man my hands are dry. I should get lotion. But I’m so comfortable. If I compromise my comfy position…I may never find it again and I will never go back to sleep. Nevermind  I will just deal. Oh my god all I’m going to think about is my dry hands. Fine! Fine you horrible skin you win! Where is the lotion? I should clean this cabinet, it’s a mess.

But once I start scrolling through Facebook is when I get deep in thought. Today my thought is that I see so many people doing well and posting their successes on Facebook. Yet the only time I see more than 100 likes on something is if someone is pregnant or getting married. I don’t know if people are just not seeing it due to the strange way Facebook works now or if it’s something else. 

have a sneaking suspicion it’s something else. It seems to me that people have a hard time being happy for other people that are doing well for themselves. I will not lie immediately two people popped into my own head when I said that. Yes, I am guilty of this too. But why?

Because they, in my eyes are doing better than me. They have something I am working toward or are happy doing something I’m not. Both of these things are career wise. One has a following and is fairly successful. Besides the fact that I don’t like her personally, so what? I can still be happy for her. That doesn’t make me any less than what I am. Success is, afterall, determined by ourselves. I realized the thing that makes me happy or jealous of someone’s success is how well we got along. If I didn’t like them, even if they are really doing awesome, I too would scroll past their post of happiness without liking it. A “like” is so small and so big at the same time. It can signify a lot. 

It it was these thoughts that prompted me to make a status personally tagging people in it that I thought deserved more recognition than they were getting. People will appreciate it! Do it!

So next time that person that you can’t stand posts something awesome they are doing with their life, don’t be a hater. Click that little like button. Because there is no denying they are doing the damn thing! I promise, releasing that will make you feel so much better. So free. Let freedom ring. 

Adventures of Online Dating

My Adventures of Online Dating- Finding Nemo

I have been single for just over a year. It’s starting to get to that wonderful point where all of my friends, family (including my grandma) are trying to set me up with someone. And this year deciding whether I wanted to date or not was a New Year’s Resolution. ย And I decided yes, okay, I’m ready. Now what?

I spend a lot of time driving in between my apartment, my mom’s house and work. I don’t have a lot of time on my hands. So at first I decided to go the route of giving out my number to anyone that asked. That was a horribly, stupid mistake. I have a weird adversity to phone conversations with people I don’t know (calling to set up doctors appointments is a serious struggle) so texting was the way to go. Maybe it’s just me, but when someone you barely know texts you “Good morning. I woke up and kissed you. Muah,” it’s time to move on. Then they blow up your phone and when you tell them it’s not working out they throw a complete fit and continue texting you their angry rants. After about four guys, I decided yeahhh this isn’t working. I laid off of it for a while.

Then Patti the Millionaire Matchmaker told me to try online dating on a site called Plenty of Fish. Well she didn’t tell me personally, but damn it, it felt like it. My mom and I were watching it and she did an interview where she told Andy Cohen, I love him by the way (call me Andy!) that online dating is where to meet men. I signed up before she finished talking.

About two years ago I tried a few websites, and it didn’t work out. But hey I would give it the old college try. It took me a while to understand what was happening. Immediately I started getting notifications that people wanted to meet me and I started getting overwhelmed. It’s just the way the site works. They show you pictures of people in your area it asks if you want to meet them, but it just means “are you interested?” You can choose yes, no or maybe. If you click yes or maybe the other person gets a notification that you want to meet them. It also lets you know if there is a mutual match.

At first I started freaking out. What?!!! I don’t want to meet anyone yet! Are they crazy?! I’m going to end up handcuffed in a warehouse somewhere!

It’s just the site’s terminology.

Then my phone started chiming like crazy because my inbox started getting messages. Some saying very inappropriate things that I won’t repeat. Some just saying hi. Some calling me bae, Hun, boo, beautiful, and even future wifey. It was overwhelming.

My biggest issue starting out was that I felt bad if I didn’t respond. Okay…I still have that problem, even if I think I’m not interested because who knows right?

The pick up lines. Oh man the pick up lines! The best so far is “just call me Pooh because all I want is you, honey.” Hey, I had never heard it before and it was funny.

Once I got a message saying “judging from your username you have heard (some guy I can’t remember)’s commencement speech in some place I don’t remember of 2005? Well I didn’t listen to my own damn commencement speech so I don’t exactly go around looking for commencement speeches from when I was 15. And my username is because I think I’m clever and it’s from Finding Nemo. Lmao!

I may be engaged. Did I forget to mention that? ย Probably the most interesting message I got was something along the lines of “here’s the key to my heart ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”โค๏ธ please don’t break it ๐Ÿ’”. ” ย Followed by the statement “๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒผ I got you some flowers I hope they don’t die.” Next was ” this is a deposit if you act right ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’‘.” Lastly was “this is a seed for our future ๐ŸŒฑ with the right ingredients ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ and some love ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’• it will grow.” ย So I’m pretty sure I’m engaged. He did it so fast and there was a lot more emojis. It took me forever to find those just now.

The next issue I personally had was when they would end every sentence in “beautiful” in a very generic surface issue conversation. I get it, you think I’m beautiful. Now can we actually get to know one another?

Good conversation in general is hard to come by. I get a lot of “what are you doing” and when I respond, not answering until the next day with the same question.

Did I mention that I was told I look like Rosario Dawson’s MOM?! ย I’m 24. I get Rosario Dawson alllll the time. Rosario is 35. Let’s do some math here. If Rosario’s mom had her at a super young age, let’s say 13. You are saying that I look at least 48! When I tell him this he tells me to take my vitamins and then tells me insecurity isn’t attractive. What?!

I also had A LOT of men pushing for a date or phone number right out of the gate and would get frustrated when I refused saying I wanted to get to know them better on the site first.

Did I mention I have been stood up twice?

Not all of them are bad though. I have a few guys that I really enjoy talking to and even have a date coming up that I am very excited for. And when I told my friends that I was on this site, about 6 of them said they met their current boyfriends/fiances on that site. If you are thinking about it, give it a shot! Be prepared for the madness though. I will keep you posted.

Thanks for reading๐Ÿ˜Š